NewStats: 3,265,470 , 8,186,826 topics. Date: Sunday, 15 June 2025 at 06:33 AM 5s6c49

Bonjovi13:
You have probably lost her going by her reaction.
Never ever it that you can hit a woman for whatever reason even if she hits you first.

Your position should be that upon provocation you would diffuse the situation or walk away. That shows that you have self control which is a trait any woman would prefer because they know that they can get out of line one day and they would need you to be the bigger man to diffuse the situation or walk away.I’m totally against violence!…but what are you saying? Just listen to yourself.



The way you said you would retaliate against a woman who hit you, made you seem like someone who would not hesitate to assault a woman physically if she ever gets out of line by hitting you. She will never feel safe with you. Hence her withdrawal.

I suggest you apologise and change your
position. Assure her that you now understand how your words may have come across.

Tell her that you will make sure that you will never make her mad to the extent that she will hit you and that God forbid if that happens, you will with love and maturity diffuse the situation or walk away.

I’m totally against violence…but that’s manipulation and gas lighting. From the abundance of the heart the minds speaketh.

So you mean if a lady gives you a dirty and humiliating slap, u won’t defend yourself?

It’s better for him to lose her now than regret later.

Things like these are what make men die in silence.

DOUBLEBARREL:
I'd have deflected the question thus by asking her,.... who is your favorite male celebrity ?,,, answers(davido, Wizkid,2 face e.t.c),.. would you ever think to slap him if you were in a relationship with him ? (The añswer would be No)... If I were an ideal boyfriend in your perception you wouldn't think these thoughts.. except maybe u are confusing me with some one else.

That’s an opportunity to know her thoughts process, red flags.

RandomFellow:


In Diplomacy, we deflect questions. You answered well, but not well enough!; I'll score you 5/10! That's what an average guy on the street would do; I want to believe you're not an average guy; you're above average!

When she asked what you'd do if a woman slaps you, you should have shut down the conversation at that point! There are different ways to shut it down. Don't dignify her with an answer (but wetin you go do dey your mind).

For example, you could deflect by asking her who she values most in church or music. Ask her if she can ask them such a question. Or ask if she can slap them for any reasons. ANY REASON at all!!!

You could even feign annoyance, telling her to stop asking such childish questions. Tell her it's an insult for her to ask if you'd hit a woman. Why should you even ask if I'd hit a woman. How do you expect me to start constructing an answer to this insult babe? Haba naa... You're diminishing my brain cells by asking me these questions. We should be talking about how we'd build billion dollar empires, and you're here asking me shii... Please lets grow up.

Mind you, in the second scenario, you did not answer the question... But wetin you go do dey your mind.


Deflect the question next time such things are asked you! Na you be boss ooo... Any body wey wan know if you go slap them should come and slap, and you'll tell them the answer.

My little 2 year old slapped me, I slapped him back (tiny slap sha, but he was shocked)! Told him that's how life is. If your mate slaps you, slap him back, and don't come crying to me. Let their parents come complain, and I'll apologize on you and our family's behalf- I'll even pay compensation if need be. But I don't want to be complaining to others.


If my woman slap me (my wife would never even try it), I'll make sure she receives something worse. Not necessarily physical, but something she'll never forget in her life. I might separate from her because of that (even if I was the one at the wrong)! Yes... My offence (even if I got another woman pregnant) is dwarfed by your slap. Don't ever try it

all this one na long capping, he was right to have given her a definitive response albeit a wrong one.

He should have told her that the day she raises her hand to hit him, that's the end of what they share.

It's always good to define such scenarios for women. They never forget forewarned outcomes. They never do

Tell a woman from day one that if you catch her cheating it's over, she may decide to go ahead and cheat but she knows she's done if you find out. No forgiveness.

And if you ever do find out, she won't even bother begging
EOD

Miriam T wants to manipulate you. Leave her ASAP

I think a slap deserves a slap in return, easy peasy.

If she likes's violence, she would have to look for a bandit, who will make her a good slave . He can even smash her head too


But serioulsy, why do you people think about violence in relationship so much. And for any partnership, both should never use violence to communicate. And both should have self-control if one has anger issues and cannot control themselves they need to see a therapist or psychiatrist.

The relationship is not for therapy. Is like a lot of us grew up in dysfunctional environment, and have unresolved wounds.

post=135718332:
You dey see red flag now.. you no go run o . A woman that feels she can hit you a man and shouldn't be hit back because she is a woman. She totally forgot she is a woman when she was initiating the hitting.

Better run from this lady.

I tell you. A clear red flag.

They manipulate, gaslight and play the victims.

Atasko:
That's my thought process as well. She sees nothing wrong with a woman hitting a man but frowns at the retaliation. I see it as double standard. She's literally keeping malice with me over this our conversation lol

brotherhood is proud of you.....but if you reach out first then we against you lol

AirBere:
planned conversation for online engagement.

If it's true, then this girl has a negative IQ.

What did you think the majority of the women are, aside blaming you for their own failures. And when you forgives some of them for their errors or failures, they will start blaming you for forgiving them, that if you had not forgiven them, they would have carried on with their lives somewhere and with someone else, that it because you forgave them the last time that they are ing through what they are ing through today.

Juliearth:







Exactly! She baited him and he fell for it. Only an emotionally intelligent person can throw such baits. Asking that question doesn't mean she would play out the response she gave. She painted that picture to get your reaction.


Research more about emotional intelligence and you would understand that it goes hand-in-hand with emotional manipulation and that was the blow the op suffered.




Point of correction. Yes, she was trying to manipulate him not to being abused, but to know if he can return the gesture if it happens (not like she intends to tow that path)

U keep shouting emotional intelligence, maybe the lady in question sef is not emotionally intelligent and she was just asking the question ordinarily.
Maybe there was no bait, she just asked due to what she heard

Unseen:
In military, one of the Rules of Engagement states that a civilian with a weapon is military and should be treated as such.

In man/woman relationship... A woman that hits you first is a Man and should be treated as such

You've just brought up what I'm about to say. The moment you hit me as a woman, you have taken the position of a man and you will receive the same thing a man gets.shes trying to gaslight him.

Double0h7:
I think you should stand on your principle. She's trying to manipulate you into accepting violence from a woman under the guise that she is weaker and her hits won't hurt.

An ab, male or female, start their violence small. It will be a slap here and there, pulling and tearing your clothes, and then one day it be an object to the back of the head, or a knife in your chest. Stop violence from the dot!

I thought i was the only one that saw a manipulator.

TF, does she mean by “if i hit you, would you hit me back?”

If any human hits me, man or woman you would surely get a proportional or greater response

OP you better get rid of that fooool from your life. She doesn’t see a problem with hitting you but you hitting her back is a problem? Hypocrite. Ask yourself why should she as a woman consider hitting a man. When people show you who they are believe them.

She is not even intelligent, look that last part of chat you asked her “then what are you saying”. At that point she knew she was contradicting herself so she retreated from the argument.

jubrilELsudan:
YOU NO GET ANY SENSE

IT'S OBVIOUS YOU ARE A WOMAN BEATER

YOUR GIRLFRIEND REALLY DODGED A BULLET CAUSE SHE WOULD HAVE ENDED UP MARRYING A WOMAN BEATER LIKE YOU

Oga rest.

I do not also violence…but the guy losing a woman with such mindset can be a Win. Some men also suffer abuse from domestic violence.

Atasko:
That's my thought process as well. She sees nothing wrong with a woman hitting a man but frowns at the retaliation. I see it as double standard. She's literally keeping malice with me over this our conversation lol

If it were to be me, I won't even hit her back.. I will tell. Her that if it continues, I will dump her...

That's what I do.... I don't need to hit u back especially at first or 2nd...but if worse come to worse, I will dump u

Omoh awon defend defend to avoid life stabbing ooo

Atasko:
Hi. I had this chat with my girlfriend today and I'm here wondering if I have been having a messed up principle. I personally don't believe in violence. I will rather involve the authority than get physical. While growing up, I have always believed that hitting a woman irrespective of her actions is totally wrong until I was slapped in SS1 by a hot tempered girl. I didn't hit her back but I randomly think about it ever since . After that, I decided to always return every assault irrespective of the gender. But now I'm questioning that principle after this convoy. Am I wrong? What will you do in a similar situation?

Kids chat

Bye 👋


Which one is not enough original content from Nairaland.
Seun, must we now write essays

Atasko:
If you can hit her back then, we have similar principle then . I don't know why she feel it's wrong to hit back.

So your girlfriend's name is Miriam T?

Juliearth:







Exactly! She baited him and he fell for it. Only an emotionally intelligent person can throw such baits. Asking that question doesn't mean she would play out the response she gave. She painted that picture to get your reaction.


Research more about emotional intelligence and you would understand that it goes hand-in-hand with emotional manipulation and that was the blow the op suffered.




Point of correction. Yes, she was trying to manipulate him not to being abused, but to know if he can return the gesture if it happens (not like she intends to tow that path)

only constant thing is change no one is prophet. Who says she might not tow same path later

Unseen:
In military, one of the Rules of Engagement states that a civilian with a weapon is military and should be treated as such.

In man/woman relationship... A woman that hits you first is a Man and should be treated as such

if you see a thunderous slap a Keke rider gave his female enger because the woman gave him slap first. We held the man so the situation don't escalate. I later thought to myself that that slap on the woman's face was befitting since she felt it was okay to slap the Keke rider publicly.

I share the same ideology. If you hit me, I would hit back in equal or more measure. We can talk, insult, abuse or curse no problem but hit me, I won't show any weakness.

Double0h7:
I think you should stand on your principle. She's trying to manipulate you into accepting violence from a woman under the guise that she is weaker and her hits won't hurt.

An ab, male or female, start their violence small. It will be a slap here and there, pulling and tearing your clothes, and then one day it be an object to the back of the head, or a knife in your chest. Stop violence from the dot!

Thank you for this comment my guy. Nigeria women want to be smarter than they think. She dey use style whine this guy to know if she can be manipulating him. Don't be surprise if her mom is used to hitting her dad. Guys always be the man and stop simping around.

Cmanforall:


Kids chat

Bye 👋


Which one is not enough original content from Nairaland.
Seun, must we now write essays

They want to stop space bookers on front page

Double0h7:
I think you should stand on your principle. She's trying to manipulate you into accepting violence from a woman under the guise that she is weaker and her hits won't hurt.

An ab, male or female, start their violence small. It will be a slap here and there, pulling and tearing your clothes, and then one day it be an object to the back of the head, or a knife in your chest. Stop violence from the dot!

But why continue with someone who disrespects him to the extent of hitting him?

Cmanforall:


Kids chat

Bye 👋


Which one is not enough original content from Nairaland.
Seun, must we now write essays

Just noticed that too and I wondered!

Will soon readers association, e no hard

All women have double standard, thats their nature. Most of them are very manipulative, yes, including but not limited to our mothers. While in the future she may not hit you, she wants to know if you are vindictive enough to seek retaliation. Let her know the answer is yes, it might save you from future heart ache.

Atasko:
That's my thought process as well. She sees nothing wrong with a woman hitting a man but frowns at the retaliation. I see it as double standard. She's literally keeping malice with me over this our conversation lol

Juliearth:







Exactly! She baited him and he fell for it. Only an emotionally intelligent person can throw such baits. Asking that question doesn't mean she would play out the response she gave. She painted that picture to get your reaction. manipulate him not to being abused, but to know if he can return the gesture if it happens (not like she intends to tow that path)

Ehnn na he too not that he plans to play out the response he gave her too,he just said it to see her reaction..Anyway I think he needs to be very careful with such a manipulative lady..

Relationship is sacrifice to make your partner happy and not just about yourself alone but she has managed to make it all about herself even when he told her from the start that he would walk away she still pushed him to get that response she wanted to get from him..I am not sure she values him as much as he does her.

NSK4U:


Just noticed that too and I wondered!

Will soon readers association, e no hard

Even for this one, I still got same message

Juliearth:








Your ŵoman baited you and you fell for it. Or maybe not exactly falling, but you pet out your disposition to the situation.


Let's just say her level of emotional intelligence sures yours.

I disagree with you, always let your partner know your stance on a lot of things like he did, don't take that chance with anybody physical abuse goes both ways, I will never hit a woman or anybody no matter how provoked I am but you raise your hand on me I go give you double, it's just a simple principle everyone should know each other's principle to be guilded

true, women are smart, and she is looking ahead into the future.

I observe that women are also capable of violence just like men, hence they need to know the dangers of being abusive to their husbands.

profmallor:
All women have double standard, thats their nature. Most of them are very manipulative, yes, including but not limited to our mothers. While in the future she may not hit you, she wants to know if you are vindictive enough to seek retaliation. Let her know the answer is yes, it might save you from future heart ache.

As a man, I will never hit a woman. If you as a woman hit me first, If you are my woman, I am ignoring you for six months. You go beg tire. But my wife doesn't know that. I told her, I will end the relationship with the slightest slap. If you are someone I don't know. I am tying your hands behind your back. I won't release you until you beg me, na you go tire.